"Darlin' I don't know why I go to extremes"--if something you believe in results i

I am well aware I have been slacking on my blog lately and to be honest, I feel like I have been lacking some sort of inspiration or maybe its that so many things have been going through my head that I can't pin point one thing to share. Plus, I am not that type of person who is going to give you a half ass blog just to make sure I am writing frequently. With that said, my social media has been running rampant with news of hate crimes, protests, and all the negativity you can imagine. As a result, I want to address something I feel very strongly about. Now first and foremost before my die hard Trump and Republican (this does not apply to you all) readers think to themselves "here she goes on her liberal rant", know this... I am a very level headed person who has both right and left wing views so you can sit down, zip the lips, and continue to read.

It is no surprise that hate and extremism have been part of this world for as far back as we can remember so lets not fool ourselves into thinking it actually getting worse. The reality is that social media and the news amplify everything that is going on so it is right in our faces wherever we look. Hate crimes, extremism, terrorism, governmental issues, crookedness, etc. have always been the reality of every generation. For some, it may have been worse than others and for others, it may have been better. Either way, these types of behaviors are learned behaviors. No one wakes up deciding that they are going to be intolerant towards someone, hate something, or develop such extreme perspectives. When you see children at a young age, they don't care who you are, what your background is, your religion, color, ethnicity, financial status, job, whatever; they care if you are nice to them and want to engage. So, I can't help but think that we are absorbing messages from different sources that are feeding these destructive behaviors. Extremism and insecurity in my opinion are like a moth to a flame. Individuals who are lost or haven't found a sense of belonging latch on to these messages and agendas to find a sense of purpose and a reason to stand for something. They gravitate towards false information, rigid thinking, and close mindedness. These behaviors lead to intolerance, lack of understanding, and lack of compassion. Don't get me wrong, I am someone who takes a lot of pride in the morals and values I was raised with, understanding right from wrong, and the importance of following rules and regulations, but I also go through life open to learning and adjusting my perspective when necessary. Extremism and hate leave no room for openness or compassion rather, people are behaving impulsively and forgetting that those we are directing these beliefs towards are actually human beings which is our undeniable common factor.

Being a gay woman, I have been very fortunate to not have endured the hate and loss that many people in the LGBT community have but, I have certainly been in a position where I was separated or ostracized or labeled because of it, from both sources I expected and others I did not. I consider myself very lucky to have had the journey I have even though some of the parts of the journey have been very dark and continue to be challenging. With that said, I have to sit here and watch intolerance, ignorance, hate, and extreme views target a group that impacts me directly. I sit with my wife at dinner in our home with our dogs and think to myself, we are just like everyone else, where is this anger coming from? We have strong Christian backgrounds, are educated, work hard, follow the rules, etc. yet there are people out there who believe that things such as Conversion Therapy (which is often violent) should remain as an attempt to try to knock the gay out of people. Or even worse, use things such as the Bible and Religion to justify their beliefs and perspectives while picking and choosing what parts of their religion they want to adhere to or ignore to justify the perspectives that are convenient for them. Although fortunate, my wife and I still need to worry about showing any sort of affection in public or even around people we don't consider "the public", we often can't acknowledge we are married (usually having to smile and agree with people's belief we are sisters), or even have the ability to celebrate life milestones the way other people do in fear of what may be done to us or others reactions. So we keep quiet and to ourselves, smile and nod, hide our identity, minimize our joys, and work harder for what other people get naturally, all in order to be able to live our lives peacefully and stay off the radar of those with extremism, intolerance and hate in their hearts.

One thing I firmly believe though is that in every type of group, LGBT, Black, White, Male, Female, Republican, Democrat, whatever, there are those who have such radical views and behaviors that ruin it for the rest of us which is what fuels separation, lack of compassion, and close mindedness. Sounds like a pretty vicious cycle in my opinion and shows that even within these "groups", there is division. when you look at some of the most influential people such as Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Maya Angelou, Ghandi, and even Jesus himself, you will see the common factor here and that was acceptance and compassion. These individuals all had the groups that they identified with but also took the time to realize that although some people are different, we are all still people and being treated with dignity and respect must prevail. "Treat others the way you want to be treated"...so simple of a concept that we learn it in Kindergarten yet throughout our lives, different factors drive us further away from this simple approach to living. We begin to become more intolerant, we label people, ostracize others, close off groups, and form such rigid views all because of anger stemming from a variety of sources. We are basically creating such a divide among us that we are losing sight of the bigger pictures and that is that you can't truly judge a book by the cover you think it has or that it actually has and there are more sides to a persons story than you can ever imagine.

One of the worst things of this all is that the extremism and hate within our very country has a ripple effect and takes away from the actual thing many of us are hoping to stand for and represent. For example, Religion is often grounded in peace, love, getting closer to whoever we identify as God, unity, etc. Yet people misuse religion and misunderstand messages that in turn drive hate, separation, and take us further away from God's intention. Different communities whether they are based on religion, sexual preference, culture, ethnicity, political views, all have those people who spoil it for everyone and drive their group further away from the original purpose, intention, or message. Its the extreme views that result in violence, pain, inappropriate agendas, choas, and all that comes along with leading with intolerance instead of compassion. We are so quick to label ourselves and others while turning our back to anyone or anything that is different from ourselves or what or who we think things and people should be that we actually fuel separation and intolerance. I believe in the importance of our individual foundations, moral, beliefs, ethics, and whatever else but as times change and we develop as people, we cannot be afraid to open our minds and realize that not everything is always what it may seem and that all we are required to do as human beings

is make a daily decision to be responsible and accountable for our own behaviors and treat others with kindness, respect and dignity. If you are part of something that does not support that or you are engaging in a way that you would be upset if it was done to you or someone you love, you seriously need to do some soul searching and re-evaluating. There is going to be negativity around us no matter what, there are going to be people doing the wrong thing, people who are unstable and dealing with their own issues, but the only thing we need to be responsible for is making a positive change within ourselves and those around us on a day to day basis. It is in doing that that we contribute towards the greater good.