"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our respo

My intention was to write a blog on this almost two months ago. With the holidays, my Health Coach test quickly approaching, and me letting life get in the way, I never got around to it. But, this quote by Viktor Frankl truly held a lot of weight with me when I heard it because it is something I can admit to struggling with every day. I think for most of us, our responses to thing are natural, quick and even at times impulsive, especially where emotions are concerned. We tend to have a "knee jerk reaction" to different events, things that are said to us, situations, and other external stimulus. In those reactions, we completely forget that we have the ability to choose our response when we take a second to allow room between the stimulus and our reaction.

Easier said than done of course. With life being as fast paced as it is, our heads being a cluster most of the times, and just being flawed human beings, we often don't take the time needed to be more selective about our response. For myself, I notice that when a something happens whether that be a comment, a lack of response or behavior I was hoping for from someone, or a situation where I feel like my self-worth or well being is being challenged or compromised, my emotional reaction is the first thing to jump in which means that my immediate reaction will be an emotionally driven one. Over time, I have learned how to acknowledge my emotion, assess its rationality, and than respond, but still, emotional responses whether acted upon or not, tend to be very quick to occur. It is in those moments that we make mistakes or engage in behaviors that may not align with our values, intents, or beliefs.

It is important to realize though that emotions are not the enemy and as much as we try to shove them down or ignore them, they service a purpose in our lives as signals and "pop up notices" that something isn't sitting right with us, needs to be addressed or shows us that we are going down the right path. It is our responses or our actions that we have control over. That is where the "space" comes in. It is our inability to create space or acknowledge the space between a stimulus and response that leads to us impulsively reacting to things or acting in a way that is "emotionally" driven not "rationally" driven.

So how to we create awareness of this space so that we can make better choices for ourselves that reflect the value we have and who was want to be in our lives? I have heard of anything from taking a deep breath as many times as needed when you feel emotions flaring up, counting backwards from 5 or even 10 if needed (hell 100 if it calls for it), taking a walk, closing your eyes, telling yourself reaffirming statements, and the list goes on. It does not matter what you need to do but find ways to create that space in your day to day because it is in that space that we have the power to chose how we respond and who we want to be.