There will be an opinion regardless....

I was listening to a podcast while slowly dying on the stairmaster today and it was focused on other people's opinions. The podcast was hosted by Life Coach Brooke Castillo and addressed a hard truth which is that people are going to judge you and have perspectives formed about you regardless of what you try to do to control that. We spend a lot of our lives "people pleasing" and trying to find ways to modify who we are, who we strive to be and who we want to be, in order to obtain approval.

I have spent my life in this vicious cycle, especially in high school, to the point of self destruction. I formed views of myself and self worth based on feedback from others and who I thought people wanted me to be. This led me to delaying who I wanted to be and embracing who I was. I went from group to group and person to person attempting to fit the mold of who I thought they wanted me to be as a means of feeling accepted and feeling worthy. This pattern brought me to my knees and a very dark point in my life. It wasn't until college when I began to embrace who I was a bit more, allowed my personality to come through authentically, and seek people who liked me for me, that I was finally able to be ok in my own shoes a bit more. It was in this that I found ways to like myself, find out more of who I was and surround myself with people who truly had my back.

As with most things, being your authentic self and not being overly concerned with other people's opinions is way easier said than done. We feel the need to be concerned with our co workers opinions, our bosses, friends, family, our community, and whatever else. But, the truth in the matter is that even if you put your best self forward, there are going to be people who just don't like you and see you they way they want to i.e. too loud, too open, overly honest, not conservative enough, not funny, pushy, unattractive, or whatever else. This is even when you try to show all your best sides and win other people's approval. So, wouldn't it be less painful to at least be able to like who you are, attract the people who like you for who you are, and be able to grow into who you genuinely want to be?

Authenticity is a goal of mine as much as I can make it one and allow myself to not get bogged down by my insecurities. I'll be honest though, although I have made improvements, this is something I still struggle with every day. I work to find a balance between figuring out who I am and who I want to be and not allowing other people's options define that or shame me. It is a harsh reality when you work towards being your best self and it's still not good enough for other people. On the other hand, it's truly amazing to have people in your life who love you for being the imperfect human you are while embracing you throughout the process and journey. My hope is to one day be confident enough in who I am at my core that other people's lack of willingness to try to see that person or preconceived notions will mean nothing.

Always keeping pushing yourself to grow into who you want to be while loving who you are becoming and already are. If you have self awareness and insight, the path forward becomes a little less bumpy.