Our experiences impact us way more than we think... and we don't give ourselves credit for survi

Lets start off by excluding the big players of life experiences such as heartache, trauma, natural disasters, death, illness, etc. which are all huge factors in influencing us as human being. To be honest, unless you are a drone or you have some serious emotional walls up, those events and experiences will have a great deal of impact on you, period. But, for the sake of this post, I don't want to focus on the heavy hitters rather, I want to focus on the normal day to day life events that we often don't realize truly play a role in our perception, emotional and mental health, where we are at in life, where we are going, our relationships, our decisions, and so many other areas of who we are and what we do. I am talking about things such as jobs, finances, friendships, your daily commute, family relationships, your view of yourself, mental and physical wellness, your hobbies and interests, your passions, view of your life's purpose, etc. These areas are often over looked when thinking about things that truly impact and shape us.

Being someone who has studied psychology, counseling, and health and wellness, I am not stranger to the different influences on each of our lives from small to large scale. A lot of professionals focus on the large scale items such as chronic illness or trauma. Rightfully so. But what happens when those major events have not occurred or are not occurring but we are still struggling within ourselves and lives and feel as though we don't have those events to fall back on to justify the things we are thinking and feeling? Well, in walks the daily struggle and being human. Many time unless we have experienced something "serious" we are encouraged to just keep plugging along and work through our internal shit because we should be "grateful" and "count our blessings" and are told we don't have a reason to think and feel the way we do. Although I do see several valid points in some of those perspectives, I also see that life is hard in itself and then we add personal characteristic, traits, emotions, thought patters, level of internal depth, and perspective to that, and we begin to see that things are more interconnected and impactful that we thought.

Let me give you an example, there are people in life who can take a job, whatever it may be, in order to make a living and take care of the things and people they need to. For them, its just a job to provide for life. There is little emotional attachment and the person is fine with separating a job from who they are and their personal life. On the flip side, another person may need to pursue a career that is based on a passion. This path gives them purpose, helps them define who they are, may result in a bit more struggle, but gives them a reason to wake up everyday and involves emotional investment. So, what happens when person B tries to pursue person A's career journey and perspective? You've got one heck of an internal battle if that person can not adapt or become the way that person A is. Some people are able to do that whereas for others, this could create a huge identity crisis if that change is not offset by something that brings equal purpose or meaning that their passion based career once did. They can try and try and try but for person B, its like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. It just does not work even though person B may truly want to be like person A for the sake of freeing up some emotional and mental strain that comes along with passion based work at times.

In this example, person B is now going against their perceived life's purpose. As a result, there will be a snow ball effect if the transition and adjustment just does not work based on personality traits, morals, goals, inner voices, whatever that may be. Person B starts to continue to struggle and things that may have not been issues or concerns in the past begin to become issues now. For example, there may be a feeling of loss that accompanies this transition, feeling of failure due to not being able to adjust the way that person hoped, increased irritability, feelings of depression, change in social relationships, change in goal planning, not sure where to go next, feeling unaccomplished, etc. These emotions can then lead to changes in behavior and actions. See where I am going with this? Something as simple as changing a career path or job can have a snow ball effect that has a daily impact on a persons overall well-being, mental and emotional health, and day to day living.

So my point is this. Don't discount how influential your day to day experiences are or the decisions you make even if they are not on a "large scale". You don't have to experience trauma or significant loss to fell things like depression or anxiety. If you are a sensitive person or someone who is analytical or has a lot of introspective views, there is a good chance that you will be impacted by daily decisions, interactions, changes, people, and a variety of other factors. This is ok. Don't discount how you feel or how those things impact you. But, what I will tell you is that you cannot let them pull you down into the pit of inaction. I am a firm believer on if you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, then you need to work on changing how you view it. If you can't do either, then walk away. But don't just let something bring you down to the point you do nothing. Its essential to figure out where you are and where you want to be; what you are willing to handle and what you aren't. That in itself can be scary as hell but in this life, all we truly have is our ability to make decisions towards the things we want and need in life but prepare for the fact that things are not going to go as expected.

Blog message: Life is hard in itself without having to ensure trauma, illness, death, heartbreak, etc. As human beings, we are impacted differently by the day to day events we all experience. We are unique in our ability to process and perceive things and no two people view or are impacted by interactions or events the same. Each action and experience has a reaction and cause and effect are both small and large scale concepts. Give yourself credit when you make it through the day and are doing so with one foot in front of another. Understand that each decision we make and each step we take molds us into who we are in the present moment and creates a path for where we are going. Be aware of how you are being impacted by your decisions and if you are heading in a direction that doesn't align with your soul, find a way to make a change because our external factors are not going to get any easier.

Keep moving forward. You have more strength than you could imagine and it is OK to feel and think the things you need to as long as you do not use those things as a an excuse for poor behavior or inaction.